For the first time I stayed back – street lamps lined along that walkway and the sky was bruised until it darkened to night. I remember being nervous, because you were what my heart thought was worthwhile except you were also a possible repetition of a hastened heartbeat wounded from clockworks of piercing memories. Inserted the chaos of pre-party drinks, laughter, and strangers with an odour dowsed in the smell of liquor and overdue dishwashing. The singe of the beverage burned my tongue and was caught between a distasteful feeling of angst… perhaps fear against my throat. Trust? You may know this by now but I trust others, when I cannot even trust myself. In all honesty my mind contaminated by dirtied fitlh , I carry scars of pain. Marks of cruelty and a trampled mind that doesn’t learn…
Clumsy acts of tipsiness, I slurred words as if alcohol lined my lungs and acted coy with breathes of imbalance. In the end my knees were weak not because of alcoholic poisoning, but by your hands replacing mine. Mine that feigned useless. Maybe it was the alcohol just a little bit, which gave me the daring thought, or is it because I never learn.
Regret was a hallucination. All I wanted was the scorch of a kiss, the warmth of your fingertips echoed with desperate whimpers of lust. And you.
Oh how I revelled your desire for me.